I want to share a piece from one of my many books. Nothing too long, just little blips, and I'd really like it if you would share some of yours too in the comment section.
Now, I'm horrible at explaining things, but here's how I want this to work:
First commenter will say something they liked about my excerpt. Then post their own.
Second commenter will say something they liked about first commenter's excerpt. Then post their own.
So on and so forth. And don't worry if you are the last commenter... that's what I'm here for :)
There is only one rule and that is you must be positive! We all have critique partners and betas for constructive criticism. This is for us to recognize all the talent out there. Even if the comment is just a simple, "That was great!"
Here's where I start saying new things! :)
So, for the next 5 Thursdays, I'm going to talk about the senses. Ya, today is touch. Specifically, touching between characters. And just FYI, the telly word for touch is feel/felt. Avoid these when you can. :)
I really don't like it when characters touch for no other reason than they are just super hot for each other. Especially in the beginning of the love story. I want the build up. The anticipation of the first touch. If they have a reason to touch each other, but don't, it gets me all fluttery and crap.
Build up of touching for chemistry:
Accidental touching: The brush is great for this. They are close enough to touch, but not exactly touching.
Mental touching: It's all your mc thinks about. How the love interest's touch would feel.
Playful touching: Women punch, shove, nudge when they flirt. Trust me, that's a very good thing.
Sweet touching: Tucking hair behind the ear, holding hands, stroking the skin on the arm or cheek. This stuff should send your pulse to outer space... when it's in the right place.
There's also the scary touching from bad guys and people that make you sick, but I'm not going to get into that today.
All this touching is a good thing if your characters have good reasons for doing so. Are they dancing? Are they protecting each other from something? Are they in need of or giving comfort? Are they flirting? Are they Siamese twins?
Okay, now I'll share my little blurb about the 'no touch'. Specifically the Mental touching, but there is a playful touch in here as well. :)
He sits next to me, his eyes desperately trying not to look at my bare skin, but I know he has to. He knows he has to, but he’s fighting it.
I suppose I should help him out. The sliver is jammed into my inner thigh, high enough you can see my cute boy short underwear, but low enough he won’t have to touch my crotch. I pull up the oversized sweatshirt so it reveals more of my attire, but I stick my leg out in such an unsexy way I’m sure he’ll be able to control his shaking hands.
He laughs as I almost kick him in the face and he moves to the floor, crouching so he can get a better look at the nasty thing.
“Ouch. I wouldn’t call this much of a sliver. More of a twig.”
I punch him in the shoulder. “Well, maybe you should consider sanding your ledge.”
“I didn’t realize my neighbor would leap into my room in her underwear.”
The cold tip of the tweezers hits my burning leg and I cringe.
“Does it hurt?”
“No. Just cold.”
“Try to hold still. I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice hitches on the last sentence and I suppress the wide smile that wants to form on my lips.
We’re silent as he tries to get it out. I wince from the brief seconds of pain, but mostly I focus on the way he keeps his distance. Like he doesn’t want to touch me. I know this’ll go a lot faster if he grabs my leg to balance while he works, but he doesn’t. The only touch is from the tweezers.
But there’s a tension in the air I can’t ignore. Our stuttered breathing patterns, the heat radiating off both our bodies, the building sweat on his forehead, and the pounding my heart makes in my ears. Goosebumps erupt over my skin, like it’s trying to reach out to him and make him close the distance between his fingers and my leg.
I close my eyes and hold my breath. My hands clench around the pillow on his bed as I fight every urge my body has to knock the stupid tweezers out of the way and tackle him.
The air I’ve been holding flutters out in small wisps as I look at the giant sliver he pulled from my leg.
Okay, your turn! Any touching (or no touching) scene you'd like to share. Take it away!