Wow, this is the first post in all of February I haven't scheduled ahead of time. So this story just happened, I had an open space on the blog and simply had to share with you.
PS: This has nothing to do with anything, just a random story. :)
I thought I'd give the men a little heads up here on HOW NOT TO HIT ON A WOMAN.
Scene: Grocery store, frozen section.
I wanted to be quick with this little shopping trip. Hubs told me I owed him ice cream because I ate the skin off his chicken. (mwhahaha!) So there I was, bookin' it back to the ice cream and of course someone is standing right in front of the hubs' flavor of choice.
I didn't want to be the girl who taps her foot while she waits for this guy to move, so I wandered in the nearby aisles, trying not to look creepy. I kept popping my head out, but he was still there, like this was a choice between life or death! Seriously move! I want my ice cream!
So I made my way to the freezer next to him, trying to make it look like I was interested in those choices, when in reality I was ready to grab something and shove it in his cart and tell him to move along. (Did I mention I'm not a very patient person?)
But of course I kept this all internal, so when he smiled at my idiotic staring, I smiled back.
Then he said this:
"Trying to get those jeans to fit?"
Little background... I have two pair of jeans. One of them fits like a glove and the other... ya, fat person jeans. Three sizes way too big. Sags in the butt. I would say they make me look like a thug, but they really don't. They just make me look like I'm wearing jeans that don't fit. Because they don't.
(I know Mom, you told me not to wear them anymore, but the glove jeans are in the wash.)
Just in case you forgot, this is what he said to me:
"Trying to get those jeans to fit?"
First reaction: Jerk Off! Is he calling me fat? Or is he saying that buying ice cream will make me fat? What in the name of all that is freakin' holy?
What I said: "Excuse me?"
"I was just saying, you're too thin to be wearing those pants. At least I think so."
Second reaction: Is he checking me out? Or back-pedaling? Either way... One, I'm married. Two, even if I wasn't, no way should I encourage that awful pick-up line.
So I just nodded, leaned around him and grabbed the ice cream I wanted. Screw being nice.
Apparently this was not the thing to do.
"So, what's your name?"
Ew. "I don't really know you."
"Just wanted to get to know you, that's all." He does that half-smile thing.
This is the part when I scratch my face with my left hand in an obvious attempt to show him I'm married.
He doesn't get it, or he doesn't care cuz he totally moves in. Like he's ready to snatch the ice cream out of my hands.
I dismiss myself with a 'gotta go' to which he offers to walk me to my car.
"My husband's waiting for me."
The hubs was actually at home, but ya, guy totally wasn't getting it.
He got it now.
"Okay. Have fun filling your baggy jeans."
Moral of this story? If you are going to hit on a girl buying ice cream, NEVER point out she's buying something that's going to make her fat. Also, never tell her she looks like crap in her clothes. Hello, that should be obvious. And please look at the left hand before you make any attempts to woo.
I thought I understood men, but apparently, they still manage to surprise me. Or maybe he wasn't hitting on me at all, and I let myself create the disgusting ego boost.
And for all my male readers, I'd love an opinion. Was I the beast here?
Cuz I can see that happening. I was rude too I guess. And I kind-of feel
bad, and yet, justified at the same time.
Also, because I'm a Harry Potter fan, and I googled bad pick-up lines, I had to post this.