Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Mouth Needs a Filter

Doing my fears this month, in case you missed day one.

Day 13: Man Boobs Whoops! Nope, I'll be talking about Man Boobs on my other blog, not this one. ;)

Let's try again...

Day 13: Myself.

Rate on the scary scale from 1-10: Um, can't decide because it depends on the time of the month.

WARNING: If you can't handle sex talk, you may want to stop reading right now.

Gosh, how do I explain my fear of myself? Well, if you don't already know, I'm a bit of a personality. The hubs swears it is my life goal to embarrass him every time we are in public.

It's not like I mean to. I just don't have a filter when I get uber excited. (You guys are all thinking dirty aren't you cuz of my disclaimer. I'm not talking about THAT kind of excited.)

The hubs and I hardly ever get to go out, so when we do, this is me:

YAY! WAHOO! SWEET! NO KIDS! NO RESPONSIBILITIES! FOOD I DON'T HAVE TO COOK!

This is just an hour or two away from home. And yes, I act like a 16 year old out on a date with her boyfriend.

A few weeks ago, hubs and I got to spend a night away from home. A. Whole. Night. Away.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, remember, I have no filter when I get excited about something. We booked a night at the Anniversary Inn. Let me take you through the dialog when we checked in.

We walk in...

Me: Oh my gosh! They have cookies!

Hubs: I'm not sure those are for us. (stifles laughter)

Receptionist: Yes they are, go right ahead.

Me: They're chocolate chip! Your favorite! (shoves cookie in hub's face)

Hubs: No thanks.

Receptionist: Can I get the name you're reservation is under?

Hubs: (Gives last name)

Me: We're in the room with the motorcycle!

Receptionist: Oh, I have it as a surprise. Is it not?

Hubs: She booked the hotel under my name and said it was a surprise so she could act excited. (rolls his eyes at me.)

Me: Whoops, I forgot about that.

Receptionist: Okay, so your room comes with dinner. What time would you like it?

Me: As soon as possible.

Hubs: You hungry?

Me: No, but I don't want them walking in on us naked, and I want to get naked like... as soon as we can.

I'm pretty sure hub's face turned as red as the shirt he was wearing while the receptionist just laughed. As for me, I said, "What? This is the Anniversary Inn. It's like THE advertisement for sex."

Hubs: Cassie! Stop!

Receptionist: (sets key in hub's hand) We'll have your dinner brought to your room in about twenty minutes. (Looks at me with a huge smile) Think you can wait that long?

Me: I'm pretty sure we can crank one out in twenty minutes. You got robes in there, right?

Hubs: (drags me from the lobby as I reach for another cookie. He calls over his shoulder at the receptionist.) Uh, ya, twenty minutes is fine. Thank you.

We get outside.

Me: Oh gosh, I'm SO EXCITED!

Hubs: Really? I couldn't tell.

After the excitement wore off, which wasn't till I was back at home and vaca. was over, I realize just how embarrassing I am to be with, lol.

Anyways, my point? I'm not sure if I were to meet myself whether I would laugh or run away.

42 comments:

  1. Oh man, that was the perfect read to go with my morning coffee!!!!

    I swear, I am just the same when I haven't been out for a while LOL!

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  2. Sounds like a great life goal. keep up the good work. The embarrassing moments, too.

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  3. LMAO! you crack me up. DON"T get a filter, you are way too fun without it.

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  4. Love this! I'm the same way with no filter. :D
    Us no filter girls need to stick together!

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  5. I'm considering moving to your town because you would be so fun to know in person. :)

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  6. Um...does your husband know you posted this? Because mine would die die DIE if I did. I LOVE that you have no filter, and I love this story too too much. :)

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  7. Lol.. that is awesome! I love peeps who say whatever they're thinking. I find it uber refreshing. So carry on ...

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  8. Oh my gosh, that is an awesome conversation! You are hilarious!!! :) I hope that you had a nice time before or after dinner, lol.

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  9. Kyra: I know, it's like I'm finally seeing daylight, give me a break if my brain is on overload! :)

    Jackie: Yes! Let's make people uncomfortable together!

    Suzi: We got an extra room in our basement. :)

    Ilima: He does, but it's not my fault he was half asleep when I asked him, lol.

    PK: Okay, but my brain isn't always thinking the most clean of thoughts. You've been warned. :)

    Krista: Oh my, yes! We had a great time!

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  10. ROFLMAO (and that's arse, just so you know).

    You just make me smile!

    I took hubby to the Anniversary Inn in 2011. SO much fun! We had the tree room.

    Aren't those hot tubs amazing? I took 3 baths in fewer than 24 hours!

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  11. Well at least we know when you decide to write a book about your life it won't be boring. This post was hilarious! Poor hubs.

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  12. Oh my god that was classic. I love that! That poor receptionist, though!

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  13. This is great! I wish I could have been a little mouse and seen it first hand. Lol!

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  14. I literally couldn't stop laughing as I read this. Hilarious.

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  15. LOL! this might be my new favorite A to Z post of yours.

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  16. Sheena: Hubs says he agrees with you. :)

    T Drecker: Haha, maybe I'll video tape the next conversation I have and post it. That would really embarrass him. hehehe!

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  17. The Anniversary Inn has cookies! I know where I'm booking my hypothetical honeymoon.

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  18. Help! My tummy hurts from laughing. OMG! You're the best when I need a laugh! First, commenting in my post, then, I get to read this fabulous post. Love it:)

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  19. O.M.G. You are too funny! Love it!

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  20. I am so glad, and I mean this in the nicest way, that you are not my wife. The world does not need to know my sex life.
    There really aren't awkward silences around you, are there?

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  21. Hahaha! That's freaking awesome. I think your posts get funnier every time I come back here. Sad thing is, my husband would probably be more likely to do something like that than me! xD

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  22. Emily: Ya they have cookies! They were so soft and yummy too. Ah, drool!

    Marta: Haha, I had to go back and read what I posted on your blog. For a second I thought it was the orgasm comment I made, but that was on someone else's. Emily's actually, lol. Gosh, my mouth I tell you!

    Jasmine: Oh gosh if the hubs was the same as me I'm pretty sure we'd embarrass everyone else! Haha!

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  23. This cracked me up! I've been known to run my mouth off a time or two, but you definitely have me beat :-)

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  24. Me, too (as in I agree with Sarah :)

    Bows down....

    I'n not wordy... I'm not wordy :)

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  25. Psh, you say embarrassing, I say fun! I wish I could filter less. Maybe it's embarrassing sometimes, but at least you know who you are and so do the people you're with. That's awesome.

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  26. SO funny. Your husband is suck a lucky guy :)

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  27. that is too funny. Your husband should not be complaining.

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  28. This sounds like me and my husband. The one nice thing about having kids and lots of other responsibilities is that when you are actually alone together you're ripping each other's clothes off like you're in a romance novel.

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  29. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

    i KNEW from the very beginning of the month these would be my favorite posts, and boyohboy! you don't disappoint, do you?

    *snickers*

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  30. Prerna: No he shouldn't in this scenario, lol.

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  31. At least you didn't say, "Oh, we only need five minutes." Hehehehe!

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  32. Oh my gosh! I just finished reading this! With this one and the G-string one, I don't think I have any makeup left because I was laughing so hard I was crying! I think for the first time in eight years, I feel empathy for Josh! Don't change though! It would make our family boring.

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  33. Okay, you and my husband would get along fabulously because he does this to me ALL THE TIME!!! The man has no filter.

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  34. Becki: do you remember ripping my underwear like that?? Seriously, the worst wedgie ever and I have yet to get you back!

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  35. Hah! Sometimes I swear you're a book character come to life, Cassie.

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  36. NO! I don't remember. I thought it was Jenny. It does sound like something I would do, though. I am proud to take the blame for it!

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  37. Yup, it was you! I'm actually happy you didn't go the other way and pants me, because that would've been even more embarrassing.

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  38. You'd laugh :) You make everyone laugh :) It's a GIFT!!!

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