Wednesday, May 2, 2012

About to Pop from the Pressure

Here's my freak out post for the month. Then I promise to chill :)

Three things have happened to me in the past month.

1. Hubs got hired at the Department of Corrections. (yes... Cop. Yikes!)

2. False pregnancy alarm, so all that junk I ate was me just being a pig instead of a bun in the oven. Sigh...

3. Received 3 R&R's for How to Date a Nerd.

I'm going to freak out about number 3 today, but know the other two contribute to my wacko emotions.

If anybody has received an R&R, I feel for you. At first, it's sort of overwhelming to get an email from an agent you have to scroll down a couple times to read it all. And it's a great feeling to hear an agent give you their honest thoughts about what worked, what didn't, and why they are hesitant to offer.

And then comes the freak out. What if I can't do it? What if I disappoint them again? How do I deal with this pressure, and do all the work... only to be full out rejected?

(Bad Cassie for thinking negatively, I know)

I did two rewrites, and was super proud of the final product, ready to let all the agents know I've got a revision ready for them, then I got the third R&R. And that agent brought up stuff I kept the same in the rewrite.

*Bangs head on keyboard*

I couldn't even look at the book anymore. It was draining me, and I knew I wouldn't get the changes right if I tackled it so soon afterward. I took off three days (which doesn't seem long, but it is for me) to soak in the agent's suggestions, and if I really wanted to do another month or more of revisions.

Yup... I do. So here I am, rewriting for another agent and praying to the literary gods I get it right this time. Hoping I'm capable of pulling this off.


  1. You can do it! You can do it!
    Hopefully that helps a little :)

  2. I am only just learning how frustrating this process can be! But I have faith in your talents, and I know you can do what needs to be done!

  3. R&Rs are a killer. Literary Agent, Victoria Marini, wrote a really valuable, and desperately honest, blog post recently about what a writer should expect from an R&R. You should check it out :)

  4. My dearest Cassandretti,

    I bet you felt better just writing this down and getting off your chest bump area.

    You are (waiting for the eyes to roll back down) a *great* writer. You are. Otherwise, I wouldn't be bugging your arse to read some of my stuff.

    Like my buddy Ara says, "Keep fighting the good fight."

    Your agent is out there. (S)he is.


    Now go hug a friendly cop-person.

    PS... on a serious note ((Cassie)) re. No. 2 ...

  5. I'm happy for you. Agents wouldn't want you to do rewrites if they didn't see potential in your work. Keep going and best of luck. *Hugs*

  6. The performance anxiety of rewrite requests on my short stories gives me heart palpitations. I can't imagine how high the pressure must be for a novel.

    Just remember, you can't please everybody in the same way! There may be a reason those first two agents didn't bring up the same issues. Everyone's taste is different.

    Good luck, Cassie!


  7. You can do this!!!!!!! You can, you can :)

    and congrats to your hubs on the job thing!

  8. You can do it!
    Did you send the first rewrites to the other agents though?

  9. Congratulations on 1 & 3. I'm so excited for you! Keeping fingers crossed. You know, it's hard enough when betas give conflicting comments, but if agents do it, UGH.

  10. You can totally do it! Just take a few deep breaths and occasionally relieve stress by running around screaming like your head is on fire (or, y'know, something else that relieves stress that's slightly more sane). You're awesome, and your book is gonna be awesome too.

    Also, congratulations to your hubs on the job!

  11. Crazy chick!!! Happy Dance!! You got feedback and you're fully capable of making the changes! YOU ARE SOOOOO CLOSE!!!
    (and you can get yourself knocked up too, if you want.)

  12. I'm not sure what I can do to help, but, you know, say hi to mother for me.

  13. H.A.R.D.

    So HARD. I hear ya, Cass. But I'm stoked for you. Agents don't ask for an R & R if they don't see the potential and recognize your talent! Push through and you're going to ROCK IT.

  14. 3 R+Rs? Cassie you're a killer. *happy dance* *happy dance* I've only ever gotten one but I agree totally with it, so hopefully by the end of my revising I can send it back and the agent will like it. But either way I know I have a much stronger better book...and worst comes to worst I just self publish it, which isn't terrible these days. :) (dont forget to stop by my blog when you get a chance - I'm having a week long celebration of my birthday)

  15. Yay! I mean, I know it has to be exhausting and frustrating, but it's still amazing news! You can do it!

  16. You are amazing! In fact I see this as strength and not weakness. you took a few days off and you're ready to try again. If nothing comes of it, at least you grew. I'll be crossing my fingers for you!

  17. First off, #2 made me LOL
    second, super congrats on the R&Rs. And i know people call them the "slow no" but here's the thing. Most people i know with R&Rs, even if they don't get offers from those agents, go on to get offers from other agents with the new and improved MS. So either way, you are in a super awesome place, lady!

  18. I know you can do it! There's nothing wrong with taking a couple of days to figure things out. I have faith that you can get this done and get an agent! Sending awesome revision vibes your way!!

  19. Wow! Huge congratulations on getting not one but three R&Rs! I know it doesn't seem celebration-worthy from your end, but the fact that three different agents thought that your book had so much potential that it was worth them taking the time to write up revision notes and then request to see read it again (when they already have so much other stuff to read), well, that's huge! Great job! And I'm sure your revisions will totally rock. I sense some good things ahead for you.

  20. One of these days I'm going to write a first draft that my CP's, agent, editor will love and I won't have to revise. Really, I am. I have not received an R&R yet, but I feel for you.

  21. Holy Cow, Three??? (note my blatant misuse of capitalization to show my support without actually shouting). That's great! And oh man, that's terrible.

    I know it can be hard when people are just pumping you full of "I know you cans" and "You'll get that agent." That sort of support weirdly makes me feel like I'll disappoint people if I don't make it. So know that we're here for you, and we're hoping for you, no strings attached. Rewriting "just one more time" always feels like a marathon.

  22. You can SO do this.

    But I feel your pain...

  23. They all have been excellent! Every time you develop your characters more and make the reader fall in love with them despite their faults, it's great Cassie! Keep it up, you can do it!!!

  24. That must be simultaneously exhilarating and frustrating. Good luck with it all. I'm sure the agents will be blown away with how good the rewrite is.

  25. Sorry about #2 babe. I luv you!!

    As for the rewrite. You are Brilliant! Really you are. You blow me away with each new version of the your AMAZING story. Like Hope said, each rewrite just brings you wonderful characters to a better place.

    You can do it!!! And I've got my party hat waiting for the call. Cuz it's coming. I just know it.

  26. I know it is hard work, but YOU CAN DO IT!

    I can't wait to hear all about it Saturday night!

  27. Hang in there-you can do it! I have heard so many say they have had to re submit 3 times and that will be my luck. I am not close with mine, so I know breakdowns are just down the road for me. I love the title you have chosen for it.

  28. I think it's awesome that agents are talking to you! So jealous! I'm working on my fourth edit with my editor. Most days I'm excited that it's getting better but some days I'm just so bummed out. How many more tries til I get it right! I don't know if I'll ever get the query stage.

    Keep up those rewrites! You can do it!!

  29. It will be totally worth it, you'll see. The good news is you got action going on!

  30. that is the kicker! opposing opinions! what should i change? argh!

  31. It's tough when people's opinions differ. You just have to choose a path and stick with it I guess - it's kind of impossible to please everyone in that situation. I hope the changes you make are ones you're 100% happy with. Good luck with it :-)

  32. Yea! Awww. & Hang in there. I'm waving crossed fingers in front of the screen for you, wishing you luck. Can you see them? :)

  33. *Fist Pumps*

    You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!

  34. I think we've all had those head banging moments! Totally feel you!!

  35. So what is an R&R? I see R and think rejection.

  36. You'll do great! Hello? You're Cassie Mae! I can't wait to read your work on my Kindle or walk into a bookstore and pick it up from the bookshelf! :)

  37. I apologize for taking so long to respond to y'all. Just got home from an awesome afternoon with the chitlens.

    T Drecker: Helps a lot, thanks so much :D

    Kyra: I had no idea how hard a rewrite would be until I tackled one. I think it's harder than drafting.

    Donna: I think I've read that, but I'll go check it out for a refresher. :)

    Mark: Ooh, you make it sound like I'm some kind of fun noodle, lol.

    It did feel good to spit out the frustration I've had about it for sure. And thank you always, friend. :D

    Sheena-Kay: Thank you! Big hugs back :D

    JW: Exactly. I'm trying to figure out what things to incorporate and what to listen to. Now I just have to execute it. :)

    Rachel: Oh good luck with yours as well! So far, I'm in love with the rewrite.

    And I will stop by as soon as I can!

    Caryn: Thank you so much! You bring up a lot of awesome points and it totally makes me feel better about this. :)

    Ilima: I know right? Why can't it be one and done all the time? :D

    Rena: Yes, the disappointment thing scares me to death. Thank you for helping me with that too. I just don't want to disappoint myself either, you know?

    And it's an endless cycle of rewriting, haha!

    Sarcasm Goddess: (giggling at your username) I know if I get past this point, next is editors. I think writing should be renamed to revising, lol.

    Tara: Word!

    Melissa: I can! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

    Jackie: You make me sound like a celebrity, lol. I like it! Thank you so much!

  38. I have never worked with an agent before, good luck with the revisions. There seems to be a lot of change and chaos in the air this last month!!


  39. Good luck with the rewrite--that must be stressful.

    And congrats to your husband. Working in CJ like that can be a tough yet rewarding experience.

  40. Sorry to hear about #2 (no, not THAT #2, lol *winks*). Seriously tough! :(

    And hooha for the R & R's! I know you're super frustrated, and I would be too, but what a great compliment to you that an agent likes your stuff enough to want to work through it with you like this! YOU CAN DO IT!!! Maybe take a little break, read a book you love, then come back to it? They didn't give you a time frame, did they? How awesome for you, Cassieeeee!!! (and that's me freaking out for you...)

  41. That sounds tough...but also exciting. Agents interested enough to send more than a form letter that reads "dear author" is an encouraging thing. Good luck on the revisions! :)

  42. Boy, that does sound frustrating, but how wonderful that you are getting responses like this! You can do it! I know you can! :D

  43. Good luck. You're a great writer. :)

  44. My first published YA is the result of an R & R. Don't despair. :)

  45. Aww, hugs, don't be discouraged! You can do it!

  46. Eek! I see how that can be really stressful. But agents wanting to see more is a good thing! Hang in there, take deep breaths, bitch slap your work a few times and then get back in the game!

  47. Eek! I see how that can be really stressful. But agents wanting to see more is a good thing! Hang in there, take deep breaths, bitch slap your work a few times and then get back in the game!

  48. Oh you'll make it. Don't let those negative feelings get to you. Some day you'll be living the big life and all your dreams :)

  49. Girl - I totally know you can do it!!!! You're going to be famous! Whoot-whoot!!!

  50. Cassie, you can do this!

    1. Just breathe
    2. Take a quick walk
    3. Just do it (thanks, Nike!)

    And, when you're working the revisions and the pressure bubbles up into your throat, choking you, "Save As" and get the hell out of the document, and repeat steps 1-3. :))

    I know your instincts will be shouting, "Trudge on! soldier," but don't listen. Take five and then go back and trudge your fingers numb.

    Go, Cassie!!!

  51. Unfortunately, even when you snag an agent, you'll have R&Rs (something I was reminded of today, in fact!). But the good news? R&Rs means the agents - all 3 of them - see so much promise in your work they want to see it again! That's huge! Congrats!


Um...big fan, BIG FAN of comments!


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