I wasn't going to do this post, only to give more power to those who are looking for more attention and all that. I really don't want to give it to *them* but after seeing such a response from my amazing friends in this community, I thought I should speak up and share.
I know most of you know what went down on my blog last week. Honestly, I had no idea the impact it would have, and since some of you only saw a little bit, or came in at the last, I thought maybe I should explain what happened. (It's kinda boring though, if you want, you can skip to the end.)
I received a comment that I thought sounded pretty legitimate. It was harsh, and I'd never encountered someone who had 'critiqued' my blog before, and I wanted to make sure they received a response. I respond (or try to) to everyone, and this person didn't have a profile or email or any way for me to get back to them. I was going to respond in the thread, but they brought up things I thought maybe other people thought too, so I decided to do a post.
After I posted, suddenly I was getting more and more comments from people who didn't have a profile or email. People in the same comment thread as the original comment and some in the comment thread of the response post. These comments were similar to the first (at first), but then they started targeting my personal life, my intelligence, and my followers and their intelligence. (Oh, heck no.)
I deleted those comments because they were so hurtful. I also received emails from faithful followers and friends telling me to delete them because they were pissing them off. I caught most of the comments before anyone saw them, but I'm sure some of you caught some of the hate, and know what I'm talking about.
The whole day I wondered what I could have done to attract the attention of this person (or people, but really I think it was one person) and how they knew where to hit me where it hurt. I'm not a stranger to criticism. I'm sure you all know I wasn't exactly Miss Popularity when I was in high school. I know what it's like to be called names and treated in a way I'm not sure I deserved. I think we all can relate to that. So I have developed a tough skin, but to think certain things about yourself, and find out that you aren't the only one who thinks them, and then to have them so publicly stated, hit me hard. I wasn't sure how to handle it.
I'm sad to say I gave the spammers what they wanted, which was a response. But I'm also not sad I responded, because perhaps this will send an awareness throughout the community about the trolls, and not let them dictate who you are and what you write.
Plus, it showed me just how wonderful all of you are.
Okay, just sat and stared at a blinking cursor for about ten minutes. Really, there are no words to describe exactly how you all made me feel. It's amazing how one comment (that spiraled into about 15 comments from the same person) sent me into a very insecure place, and made me question myself and what I was doing in my tiny corner of the blogosphere. Words are powerful for sure, and when I saw all my friends stand up and tell me not to change a thing, I was so overwhelmed I wasn't sure how to respond to that either, except with a big THANK YOU.
I realize I may have over-reacted to something that could've simply been deleted. And I'll be doing so in the future (not over-reacting, but deleting, lol). If there's anything I can share from the experience is to trust yourself and trust your followers.
I want to again state my appreciation for all the emails, all the
comments, all the phone calls, all the blog posts, and all the support I
received from all of you. There's no way I can repay what you've done
for me and for my confidence. I know if it happened to any one of you, I'd go crazy in your comment section as well, making sure you knew just how amazing you are.
So, all of this being said, I'm going to close this subject and keep doing what I've been doing. Writing stories, blogging about crazy experiences, and using the lingo I use every single day, no matter how juvenile I sound. :) This is who I am. A girl who's afraid to she'll get shot on the toilet, who occasionally spouts off a 'hecka awesome!', and who leaves you with a Harry Potter spell at the end of every post.
And also gives honorary butt grabs and boob slaps to her best peeps. :)
Thanks again. You really have no idea how much your support and your love means to me. :)