Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cyber Chest Bumps

I wasn't going to do this post, only to give more power to those who are looking for more attention and all that. I really don't want to give it to *them* but after seeing such a response from my amazing friends in this community, I thought I should speak up and share.

I know most of you know what went down on my blog last week. Honestly, I had no idea the impact it would have, and since some of you only saw a little bit, or came in at the last, I thought maybe I should explain what happened. (It's kinda boring though, if you want, you can skip to the end.)

I received a comment that I thought sounded pretty legitimate. It was harsh, and I'd never encountered someone who had 'critiqued' my blog before, and I wanted to make sure they received a response. I respond (or try to) to everyone, and this person didn't have a profile or email or any way for me to get back to them. I was going to respond in the thread, but they brought up things I thought maybe other people thought too, so I decided to do a post.

After I posted, suddenly I was getting more and more comments from people who didn't have a profile or email. People in the same comment thread as the original comment and some in the comment thread of the response post. These comments were similar to the first (at first), but then they started targeting my personal life, my intelligence, and my followers and their intelligence. (Oh, heck no.)

I deleted those comments because they were so hurtful. I also received emails from faithful followers and friends telling me to delete them because they were pissing them off. I caught most of the comments before anyone saw them, but I'm sure some of you caught some of the hate, and know what I'm talking about.

The whole day I wondered what I could have done to attract the attention of this person (or people, but really I think it was one person) and how they knew where to hit me where it hurt. I'm not a stranger to criticism. I'm sure you all know I wasn't exactly Miss Popularity when I was in high school. I know what it's like to be called names and treated in a way I'm not sure I deserved. I think we all can relate to that. So I have developed a tough skin, but to think certain things about yourself, and find out that you aren't the only one who thinks them, and then to have them so publicly stated, hit me hard. I wasn't sure how to handle it.

I'm sad to say I gave the spammers what they wanted, which was a response. But I'm also not sad I responded, because perhaps this will send an awareness throughout the community about the trolls, and not let them dictate who you are and what you write.

Plus, it showed me just how wonderful all of you are.

Okay, just sat and stared at a blinking cursor for about ten minutes. Really, there are no words to describe exactly how you all made me feel. It's amazing how one comment (that spiraled into about 15 comments from the same person) sent me into a very insecure place, and made me question myself and what I was doing in my tiny corner of the blogosphere. Words are powerful for sure, and when I saw all my friends stand up and tell me not to change a thing, I was so overwhelmed I wasn't sure how to respond to that either, except with a big THANK YOU.

I realize I may have over-reacted to something that could've simply been deleted. And I'll be doing so in the future (not over-reacting, but deleting, lol). If there's anything I can share from the experience is to trust yourself and trust your followers.

I want to again state my appreciation for all the emails, all the comments, all the phone calls, all the blog posts, and all the support I received from all of you. There's no way I can repay what you've done for me and for my confidence. I know if it happened to any one of you, I'd go crazy in your comment section as well, making sure you knew just how amazing you are.

So, all of this being said, I'm going to close this subject and keep doing what I've been doing. Writing stories, blogging about crazy experiences, and using the lingo I use every single day, no matter how juvenile I sound. :) This is who I am. A girl who's afraid to she'll get shot on the toilet, who occasionally spouts off a 'hecka awesome!', and who leaves you with a Harry Potter spell at the end of every post.

And also gives honorary butt grabs and boob slaps to her best peeps. :)

Thanks again. You really have no idea how much your support and your love means to me. :)

Protego Horribilis

28 comments:

Kyra Lennon said...

*huggles* Sometimes I really hate the internet, and how it allows people to leave nasty comments anonymously. The good thing about all this is that you can now see how much your blog buddies love you - and we wouldn't have you any other way!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Although I have on my comment page no annonymous comments I still do get them. I also get new followers who when I get back to thank them find they have no blog or email address.
I have also had the nasty comments why people do this I don't know.

Most interesting post,
Yvonne.

Michael Abayomi said...

You're welcome, Cassie. Keep doing what you do best. :)

Danielle B. said...

Ouch! Now slap the other boob. Thanks!

You are one of a kind. I was never really teased in HS but my son has it bad. He'll be a freshman this fall and is anxious about the whole thing. I really hope he comes through and grows into someone with a thicker skin and very comedic. Like you.

Ignore those b*tchy trolls!

We all love you Mama Cass! *Muah*

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Good for you! Don't let them get to you. We like you just the way you are.
You can also eliminate most of those kind of comments by not allowing 'anonymous' comments on your blog.

Richard said...

I missed all of that. I'm glad you recognized it what it was and stayed true to yourself.

Mark Koopmans said...

That's what I'm talking about.

Or as Winston Churchill once said, and I quote:

"Never give up. Never. Never."

Murees Dupé said...

I am really happy that you are feeling better. Sometimes people really suck. Don't worry, I was never popular in school either. Enjoy having your normal blogging life back.

Joshua said...

Protego indeed. And as Mark quoted Churchill, I'll quote the great Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, "Never give up! Never surrender!"

ilima said...

I was out of town last week and missed that drama. I'm so sorry all of that happened, but you seem to have handled it brilliantly and I'm glad you're not going to change a thing. Just know that we love you and think you are hecka awesome.

Emily R. King said...

Glad to hear you're back to yourself, Cassie Mae. You did nothing to deserve those attacks, and on a post that was supposed to be about how you inspired others, no less. You're the bomb, girl!

Rachel said...

*hugs* Cassie. I LOVE your blog. I love it because it is honest and funny. You know....I've come to realize this but you can't please everyone in your life. just like people like certain books and not others, or movies, etc. the same with people. Just be yourself and know that your followers, friends & family will love you just the way you are. :-) I look forward to your next post already! (p.s. I blogged about buffy the vampire slayer)

Tara Tyler said...

i am really surprised they kept going. and still gutless for being anonymous.

anonymous meanness = worthless chicken s#&$s

its like the punks who leave a s#&$ bomb on the porch, ring the bell, and run! totally immature

get that book published & show em!
nuff said. lets move on & call on your friends any time!

Matthew MacNish said...

I saw some of it, and something definitely looked funky. I've never seen an agent comment on someone's blog that way.

My advice is, don't allow anonymous comments, so that people can be accountable for what they say.

After that, just count on your friends, and know we have your back.

Jenny Morris said...

Love you and so proud of how you handled it. And I love your followers. They are so supportive.

I don't have any great quotes for you this morning. Only a boob slap and a hug.

Tobi Summers said...

Damn straight! Seriously, in the grand scheme of the internet, you might be the person who deserves trolls the least. You just keep being awesome, 'cause that's why we all love you!

J. A. Bennett said...

We all think you're fantastic and deserve the praise! Whoever this person was, they clearly have no life. Make sure you mark stuff like that as spam so that they can't comment anymore, becasue that is precisely what they are doing, spamming!

So rude. We love you!!

Griffinclaw said...

I totally missed this whole thing for some reason. (I've been a horrible person in not keeping up with reading the blogs I'm following lately.) You know, people like that are just idiots. You were right to respond back to them and tell them what was on your mind about their comments. I probably would have done the exact same thing if I were in your shoes. In my opinion, they have no place and right to go around judging you like that. You had every right to defend yourself against them. This is your blog after all, not theirs! And in the end, their opinion doesn't really matter anyway. Especially when their just buttheads.

You are AMAZING the way you are! The whole reason so many people follow your blog, myself included, is because we love you just being YOU. :D Just keep on being you, and... Haters gonna hate! >:D Haha, sorry, I couldn't help but insert that in.... :P Just know that we all love ya tons!

--Lexie

Tasha Seegmiller said...

Love ya Cass, and you are just going to have to deal with a cyber-hug because you weren't there when I was up north and you can't seem to make it my end of the state.

Get rid of anonymous comments. If someone can't say something with their name on it, it probably wasn't worth taking the time to read in the first place.

Freya Morris said...

Ergh Trolls! I really don't get them. But like you say, some tiny comments showed something more amazing - all those hundreds of AMAZING comments. All that love! Bet the trolls didn't expect that to happen. Ha! In their face!

Lisa Regan said...

You go, girl! Obviously, the comment had the exact opposite effect it was intended to have so YAY! I didn't see the really bad ones. Only one that was mostly tactful. I'm sorry to hear that there were worse ones than that and I stand by my original comment which is that you're clearly doing something right or you wouldn't have so many followers. So keep doing what you're doing! We love you!

Sabrina A. Fish said...

Head up, girl. I missed most of it(new follower here for the WHAT IF? Fairy tale Blogfest), but it has been my experience that people like that only put others down to make themselves feel less inadequate.

Their problem, not yours. I am glad you had such good bloggy friends to help you bounce back. I would definitely eliminate anonymous comments for future peace of mind. *wink*

I look forward to seeing you around for the WHAT IF? blog hop!

Rena said...

Ack, I missed it (I was out of town for more unpleasantness). I wish i could have left you a comment at the time, but We love you Cassie. We love that you're afraid you'll get shot while sitting on the toilet (not that you're fearful, but seriously, who else could have a crazier fear than that!).

You are incredible, and your book sounds so amazing that I'm counting the days until you post your "I have an agent/I have a book deal."

In short: You = Awesome.

keep it up.

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

you are too cute! <3

Emily White said...

Oh, Cassie, people will always be intimidated by your awesomeness.

Plus, I agree with Vic. You are too cute. :D

Meredith said...

Ugh, I hate that that happened to you, but I'm so glad you've come away from it stronger! Clearly you're doing the right thing by ignoring the trolls. :)

Cristina said...

I've been away and missed that post. I'm sorry someone was such a jerk to you... but reading that you've decided to ignore it from now on and staying true to who you are, makes me happy :)

fairbetty said...

Meh... trolls are not fun. :( I hope you're bouncing back ok! <3

Thanks for following my blog!!

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